Two Italian Robbers
by Number One Fan of Journey
Summary: One successful, the other not so much. Based on the true stories found in Uncle John's Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader.
1. North

_Northern Italy, 2008_

Rose glanced about the supermarket register before allowing herself to slouch against the counter and sigh. Business had finally slowed down for the day.

Of course, business had been extremely slow just a while ago—or, more accurately, the worker at her register had been. Every single day, the Greek would stand there chatting and bagging things with the efficiency of a drunken sloth. The line would stretch past the door on days there wasn't another register open. But was Heracles punished? Of course not. Only she was. Having to come in for the next shift and clean up after him every time. In the case regular customers couldn't be enough trouble, she always had nothing but the infuriated ones letting their last bit of patience float away elsewhere. The number of times she was reprimanded for bagging things in a perfectly acceptable way was laughable.

"Miss?"

Rose jumped, scrambling back behind the register rearranging her hair. "Yes, I'm sorry—"

"No, it's fine, ve~" Setting down a few groceries, the customer smiled. He looked at her reassuringly, although his eyes remained closed.

Not sure what else to do, Rose just nodded and seized the package of flour to scan it.

"You look kind of tired."

Putting the package in a bag, Rose glanced up at the customer. His eyes were open now. They were a very pretty amber, although there was something odd about them.

"A-a bit," she started, wanting to make sure there weren't other customers waiting but finding herself unable to look away from those eyes. "It was very busy when my shift started." She blindly reached for the next item, and the customer slid it towards her hand without blinking.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, eyebrows drooping. "But things have... slowed down now, right?"

She aimlessly spun the whatever-it-was so the scanner could find its label. "Yeah." His eyes were really pretty...

"So you can relax now, ve~"

Rose nodded weakly, her hands limply sliding off the item as the customer leaned closer, letting her see more of the subtle colour differences in his irises.

"Are you sleepy?" he said quietly.

"I..."

"I think," he whispered, leaning in closer, "you're getting very sleepy."

* * *

The next thing Rose knew, she was standing behind a cleaned-out register with her hand on the machine's key. The earlier customer and his items were nowhere to be seen, nor was the money.

Staring dumbly at the hand that apparently unlocked the register without defending its contents.

Well. She was going to be fired now.

Time to go mouth off to the superiors about Heracles.


	2. South

_Osijek, Croatia, May 2009_

Nikola was wiping some crumbles of cheese off the counter when the front doors slammed open. In stomped a young man, his right hand shoved into a coat pocket and his dark hair quite smooth aside from the single, prominent curl flying off to the side. Glaring at the patrons who looked up as he passed them, he walked straight up to Nikola.

"Good afternoon, sir," the worker started in the sickeningly sweet voice he reserved for unhappy customers, "how may I help you?"

The newcomer pulled his hand out of his pocket and, slamming the side of his wrist down on the counter, pointed the handgun at Nikola. "You can give me every scrap of cash in the register," he said in a low voice, calling Nikola something rude as an afterthought.

Holding up his hands, Nikola stepped to the side slowly until he got to the register. The robber glanced at the pizzas displayed on the counter but didn't direct the gun away from the worker. The piles of cheese gleamed under the heating light, and... were those tomato slices on that one? They smelt amazing...

"Here." Nikola's quiet statement jerked the robber's attention away from the pizza. Stacks of cash were laid out on the counter, and the worker had returned his hands to the I-am-holding-no-weapons-and-you-are position.

The robber slid the money towards him, gathering everything under his free arm, but he didn't put down the gun.

"That's all we have," Nikola said, taking a step back.

The robber paused and then jerked his head towards the tomato-laden pizza. "Get me a slice of that, too."

Nikola stared at him for a second, so he continued, "Now!" and called the worker something unkind.

Nodding, Nikola pulled out the pizza and pulled at one sector of the crust. "Two slices for you," he said, setting the pieces on a plate and offering them to the robber.

"Thank you," the robber snapped, stowing his gun, taking the plate, and walking towards the door. Unable to stand a second more of smelling the stuff without tasting it, he nibbled off an edge that hung off the side of the plate. Immediately he came to a stop. Chewing slowly, he allowed the melted cheese and perfectly-mixed sauce to grace his mouth a while before he got another bite, with tomato. He glanced at the few in the store and then walked over to a booth. Slamming his money onto the table, he sat down, daring anyone to confront him as he set the plate down in front of him. The cheese refused to separate nicely, stretching out into gooey strings as he tried to pull apart the slices. This was fine by him.

In a trance, he made his way through one of the slices before someone else stepped into the restaurant. Sliding a bit further into the booth, he started on his second slice, paying the newcomer no mind.

"Which way did the suspect go?"

The robber looked up just as Nikola pointed straight at him. The policemen who had just come in took one look at him and the piles of money on his table before whipping out handcuffs and closing in.

Swearing, the robber reached for his gun with his free hand, but the handle refused to stay in his greasy grip. The closest policeman easily subdued him.

"You probably should have run," the officer commented as he led the robber away from the booth and all the goodies in it.

"But the pizza was so good," the robber moaned, straining his neck to look back at his lost contraband. He just caught a glance of Nikola winking before the police pushed him out the door.


End file.
